The ZombieTastic Review of:
Zombi 2
Zombi 2
Director: Lucio Fulci
Year of Release: 1979
Country of Origin: Italy
Type of Zombie Film: Caribbean Blood-Bath
Also Known as: Zombie, Zombie 2: The Dead are Among Us,
Zombie Flesh Eaters, Island of the Flesh-Eaters, Island of the Living
Dead, Gli Ultimi Zombi
Part of a series?: Unofficial (i.e., exploitative) sequel to Dawn of the Dead.
The Scoring
Plot: A seemingly abandoned boat makes its way to New York City; miraculously, people
notice it, despite the fact that it's covered in trash, making it more or less indistinguishable
from everything else floating in the Hudson. Nevertheless, after the police investigate the
boat and are attacked by a zombie, they bring in a woman named Ann, who is the daughter
of the boat's owner, only to discover that she hasn't heard from her father in months.
Around this time, Ann meets intrepid reporter and balding raconteur Peter West. After
making out, they decide to head to the Caribbean in an effort to determine what happened
to Ann's father, and shark-fighting, eye-stabbing, flesh-munching mayhem ensues.
Score: 4
Exposition: Considering that we're dealing with a Lucio Fulci film, it's surprising that there's
very little exposition to discuss. Furthermore, what exposition is there is handled quite well,
either through some plot sketching that is handled via an organic argument between two of
the characters (I mean that the argument is organic to the plot, not that they're arguing about
vegetables and/or organs)(although that certainly would have been interesting, right?) and
a rare, non-annoying flashback sequence. Such sequences only serve to confuse
me--how could the same director responsible for the interminable "Boyle knew Peterson"
conversations of The House by the Cemetery** show such a deft touch with exposition
here? I guess that's a question for the ages, right up there with "Why is there something
instead of nothing?" and "Why is Ann Coulter such a bitch?"
**(See the ZombieTastic review of that film for more info.)
Score: 5
Plausibility: Aside from the implausibility of the aforementioned "trash-covered boat being
noticed in New York City", there's also the implausibility of New Yorkers supposedly
crowding around a minor police investigation after said boat docks. Honestly, you could
defecate on a gorilla while wearing a tri-cornered hat and playing a trombone in the middle
of Times Square and no one would pay any attention to you, so forget people crowding
around a small police-cordoned area down by the docks. (Incidentally, I don't recommend
trying the Times Square trick that I just mentioned--it's hell on one's lower back.)
But, perhaps such New York-centric examples of implausibility aren't convincing. Let's shift
focus for a second and ponder this: could a shark that is no more than six feet in length, at
the most, ram a boat so hard that (a) the boat would rock uncontrollably and (b) the boat's
driveshaft would be broken? Unlike the questions raised in the previous category, this one
has a definite, obvious answer: NO FUCKING WAY.
Score: 3
Year of Release: 1979
Country of Origin: Italy
Type of Zombie Film: Caribbean Blood-Bath
Also Known as: Zombie, Zombie 2: The Dead are Among Us,
Zombie Flesh Eaters, Island of the Flesh-Eaters, Island of the Living
Dead, Gli Ultimi Zombi
Part of a series?: Unofficial (i.e., exploitative) sequel to Dawn of the Dead.
The Scoring
Plot: A seemingly abandoned boat makes its way to New York City; miraculously, people
notice it, despite the fact that it's covered in trash, making it more or less indistinguishable
from everything else floating in the Hudson. Nevertheless, after the police investigate the
boat and are attacked by a zombie, they bring in a woman named Ann, who is the daughter
of the boat's owner, only to discover that she hasn't heard from her father in months.
Around this time, Ann meets intrepid reporter and balding raconteur Peter West. After
making out, they decide to head to the Caribbean in an effort to determine what happened
to Ann's father, and shark-fighting, eye-stabbing, flesh-munching mayhem ensues.
Score: 4
Exposition: Considering that we're dealing with a Lucio Fulci film, it's surprising that there's
very little exposition to discuss. Furthermore, what exposition is there is handled quite well,
either through some plot sketching that is handled via an organic argument between two of
the characters (I mean that the argument is organic to the plot, not that they're arguing about
vegetables and/or organs)(although that certainly would have been interesting, right?) and
a rare, non-annoying flashback sequence. Such sequences only serve to confuse
me--how could the same director responsible for the interminable "Boyle knew Peterson"
conversations of The House by the Cemetery** show such a deft touch with exposition
here? I guess that's a question for the ages, right up there with "Why is there something
instead of nothing?" and "Why is Ann Coulter such a bitch?"
**(See the ZombieTastic review of that film for more info.)
Score: 5
Plausibility: Aside from the implausibility of the aforementioned "trash-covered boat being
noticed in New York City", there's also the implausibility of New Yorkers supposedly
crowding around a minor police investigation after said boat docks. Honestly, you could
defecate on a gorilla while wearing a tri-cornered hat and playing a trombone in the middle
of Times Square and no one would pay any attention to you, so forget people crowding
around a small police-cordoned area down by the docks. (Incidentally, I don't recommend
trying the Times Square trick that I just mentioned--it's hell on one's lower back.)
But, perhaps such New York-centric examples of implausibility aren't convincing. Let's shift
focus for a second and ponder this: could a shark that is no more than six feet in length, at
the most, ram a boat so hard that (a) the boat would rock uncontrollably and (b) the boat's
driveshaft would be broken? Unlike the questions raised in the previous category, this one
has a definite, obvious answer: NO FUCKING WAY.
Score: 3
| Even with a zombie and a crab, this is still safer than any street in Detroit. |
Production Value: Again, in a shocking change of pace for a Lucio Fulci film, there's really
no complaint that I can make about the production value of Zombi 2. The wardrobes don't
look cheap, most of the film is shot in beautiful locations, and the fake blood flows without
any seeming regard for the film's budget. Perhaps some of this has to do with the fact that
certain shots in Zombi 2 are eerily reminiscent of other, more expensive zombie movies
(e.g., a street scene which looks a lot like the opening sequence of Day of the Dead). You
know what I always say: if you can't out-spend them, copy them, even if you're not actually
copying them but doing something before they themselves have ever even done it. Yeah.
Now might be a good time to point out that I have no idea what I'm talking about pretty much
all the time. All I'm saying is this: Zombi 2 was by all counts shot on a relatively low budget,
but most of the time you can't really tell that this was the case, and in a world of shockingly
shittily produced zombie films, that's something to be thankful for.
Score: 4
Special Effects: While Zombi 2 doesn't feature an overabundance of special effects, it does
have two marquee moments on which to hang its hat. The most well known of these is the
infamous "de-eyeing" scene, in which a zombie impales the eye of the wife of Zombi 2's
token scientist, Dr. Menard, on a piece of jagged wood. Why he would want to do this, I
don't know, but do it he does, if that makes any sense. As for the effect: while you can
definitely tell the "real" eye from the "fake" one as Mrs. Menard's head is slowly pulled
towards its eye-poppin' doom, the scene is well-crafted, and it makes your skin crawl worse
than a Celine Dion song. In other words, despite the obviousness of the effect, it's a
classic sequence, bar-none. So, it's cheesy at the same time that it's great, which I guess
makes it the Elton John of zombie movie special effects.
Aside from that, Zombi 2 features what is perhaps the greatest zombie one-on-one fight
scene ever committed to film, in which a shark does battle with a member of the living
dead. You read that right: a zombie fighting a shark. Whilst zombie cinema has a more
than passing familiarity with zombies and water (see Zombie Lake, Shock Waves, and
Oasis of the Zombies for evidence of this), said familiarity typically involves a zombie exiting
a body of water in as quickly and as menacingly a fashion as possible, not hanging out in
the water looking for divers to eat and/or large marine fishes to fight. Quite frankly, I'm not
sure that this scene can ever be topped. Don't get me wrong--it's not a particularly
well-done effect, and the "fighting" involves a lot of shots of a real shark floating near a
person in zombie makeup cut in with shots of said person grappling with an obviously
rubber shark; but, just from a conceptual standpoint, it doesn't get much better than the
notion of a zombie fighting a shark. Just say it: "Zombie vs. Shark". Doesn't that feel good?
Kudos to all involved, and here's hoping that someday, somehow, we get to see a zombie
fight a whale, or a bear, or a Bigfoot, or something. Zombies eat things besides humans,
you know.
Score: 5
no complaint that I can make about the production value of Zombi 2. The wardrobes don't
look cheap, most of the film is shot in beautiful locations, and the fake blood flows without
any seeming regard for the film's budget. Perhaps some of this has to do with the fact that
certain shots in Zombi 2 are eerily reminiscent of other, more expensive zombie movies
(e.g., a street scene which looks a lot like the opening sequence of Day of the Dead). You
know what I always say: if you can't out-spend them, copy them, even if you're not actually
copying them but doing something before they themselves have ever even done it. Yeah.
Now might be a good time to point out that I have no idea what I'm talking about pretty much
all the time. All I'm saying is this: Zombi 2 was by all counts shot on a relatively low budget,
but most of the time you can't really tell that this was the case, and in a world of shockingly
shittily produced zombie films, that's something to be thankful for.
Score: 4
Special Effects: While Zombi 2 doesn't feature an overabundance of special effects, it does
have two marquee moments on which to hang its hat. The most well known of these is the
infamous "de-eyeing" scene, in which a zombie impales the eye of the wife of Zombi 2's
token scientist, Dr. Menard, on a piece of jagged wood. Why he would want to do this, I
don't know, but do it he does, if that makes any sense. As for the effect: while you can
definitely tell the "real" eye from the "fake" one as Mrs. Menard's head is slowly pulled
towards its eye-poppin' doom, the scene is well-crafted, and it makes your skin crawl worse
than a Celine Dion song. In other words, despite the obviousness of the effect, it's a
classic sequence, bar-none. So, it's cheesy at the same time that it's great, which I guess
makes it the Elton John of zombie movie special effects.
Aside from that, Zombi 2 features what is perhaps the greatest zombie one-on-one fight
scene ever committed to film, in which a shark does battle with a member of the living
dead. You read that right: a zombie fighting a shark. Whilst zombie cinema has a more
than passing familiarity with zombies and water (see Zombie Lake, Shock Waves, and
Oasis of the Zombies for evidence of this), said familiarity typically involves a zombie exiting
a body of water in as quickly and as menacingly a fashion as possible, not hanging out in
the water looking for divers to eat and/or large marine fishes to fight. Quite frankly, I'm not
sure that this scene can ever be topped. Don't get me wrong--it's not a particularly
well-done effect, and the "fighting" involves a lot of shots of a real shark floating near a
person in zombie makeup cut in with shots of said person grappling with an obviously
rubber shark; but, just from a conceptual standpoint, it doesn't get much better than the
notion of a zombie fighting a shark. Just say it: "Zombie vs. Shark". Doesn't that feel good?
Kudos to all involved, and here's hoping that someday, somehow, we get to see a zombie
fight a whale, or a bear, or a Bigfoot, or something. Zombies eat things besides humans,
you know.
Score: 5
| Zombie vs. Shark: Nature’s oldest conflict. |
Makeup: The make-up work in Zombi 2 is truly awe-inspiring (but in a good, "Wow, look at
that realistic zombie!" kind of way, and not in a bad, "Wow, that zombie looks like Tammy
Faye!" kind of way). From the realism and variation amongst the zombies in the film to the
various gashed/ripped/chewed body parts of the soon-to-be-zombies, the makeup is
top-notch and realistic throughout. On the Zombi 2 DVD, those who worked on the film
state that, no offense intended, they were going for something a little more realistic than the
"blue zombies" of the original Dawn of the Dead, and I think they definitely achieved this
realism. What makes the makeup work so well in Zombi 2 is the obvious craft and
attention to detail which went into said work; the zombies themselves look great, even down
to their hands. Ultimately, I would argue that the makeup work in Zombi 2 is the film's
greatest achievement--aside from, of course, the zombie/shark fight. Nothing can top that.
Score: 5
Scariness: The scariness of Zombi 2 is something that's probably debatable (as is the
scariness of zombie movies in general). Personally, I think the opening scene is relatively
unnerving, and while nothing "scary" happens for a good long while after that, the movie
slowly and steadily ratchets up the dread factor until you just want to freak out and fight a
fucking shark or something. All right, that's an overstatement, but I will say that I found
several scenes in Zombi 2 to be scary, and that's much more than I find in a typical zombie
movie. But, you are of course free to disagree with this assessment. You're also free to
think that the Earth is flat, or that Nickelback has talent. Go ahead and be that way--SEE IF I
CARE.
Score: 4
Goriness: Let me put this in terms that are easy to understand: Zombi 2 is gorier than a
Joan Rivers Botox session. All right, that was confusing. I'm just trying to find an elegant
way of saying that this movie is GORY AS SHIT. But, I can't, so I won't. Look: this is a Fulci
film, and as such, you can bet your blood-soaked ass (I mean that metaphorically)(I hope I
do, for your sake) that the gore factor is going to be higher than Robert Downey Jr. on
payday. Fortunately though, the gore is spaced out, and perhaps more importantly, it's
used creatively; for example, the opening shot consists of something, presumably a
zombie, wrapped in white sheets, sitting up, only to be shot in the head. I find that scene
(and the several others like it that are sprinkled throughout the film) to be pretty gross, and
you don't even really see anything in it. Combine that with a variety of severed hands, the
previously described de-eyeing, and a few unbelievably nasty throat, cheek and arm bites,
and you've yourself a regular gore-festival. I think you see what I'm saying: they could
rename this movie Goreapalooza, and no one would be confused (unless they thought that
it was about Al Gore or something, which I suppose is possible; upon typing that, it occurs
to me that Al Gore might have won the Electoral College in 2000 had he beaten up a
shark--something for the Democrats to think about for 2008).
Score: 5
that realistic zombie!" kind of way, and not in a bad, "Wow, that zombie looks like Tammy
Faye!" kind of way). From the realism and variation amongst the zombies in the film to the
various gashed/ripped/chewed body parts of the soon-to-be-zombies, the makeup is
top-notch and realistic throughout. On the Zombi 2 DVD, those who worked on the film
state that, no offense intended, they were going for something a little more realistic than the
"blue zombies" of the original Dawn of the Dead, and I think they definitely achieved this
realism. What makes the makeup work so well in Zombi 2 is the obvious craft and
attention to detail which went into said work; the zombies themselves look great, even down
to their hands. Ultimately, I would argue that the makeup work in Zombi 2 is the film's
greatest achievement--aside from, of course, the zombie/shark fight. Nothing can top that.
Score: 5
Scariness: The scariness of Zombi 2 is something that's probably debatable (as is the
scariness of zombie movies in general). Personally, I think the opening scene is relatively
unnerving, and while nothing "scary" happens for a good long while after that, the movie
slowly and steadily ratchets up the dread factor until you just want to freak out and fight a
fucking shark or something. All right, that's an overstatement, but I will say that I found
several scenes in Zombi 2 to be scary, and that's much more than I find in a typical zombie
movie. But, you are of course free to disagree with this assessment. You're also free to
think that the Earth is flat, or that Nickelback has talent. Go ahead and be that way--SEE IF I
CARE.
Score: 4
Goriness: Let me put this in terms that are easy to understand: Zombi 2 is gorier than a
Joan Rivers Botox session. All right, that was confusing. I'm just trying to find an elegant
way of saying that this movie is GORY AS SHIT. But, I can't, so I won't. Look: this is a Fulci
film, and as such, you can bet your blood-soaked ass (I mean that metaphorically)(I hope I
do, for your sake) that the gore factor is going to be higher than Robert Downey Jr. on
payday. Fortunately though, the gore is spaced out, and perhaps more importantly, it's
used creatively; for example, the opening shot consists of something, presumably a
zombie, wrapped in white sheets, sitting up, only to be shot in the head. I find that scene
(and the several others like it that are sprinkled throughout the film) to be pretty gross, and
you don't even really see anything in it. Combine that with a variety of severed hands, the
previously described de-eyeing, and a few unbelievably nasty throat, cheek and arm bites,
and you've yourself a regular gore-festival. I think you see what I'm saying: they could
rename this movie Goreapalooza, and no one would be confused (unless they thought that
it was about Al Gore or something, which I suppose is possible; upon typing that, it occurs
to me that Al Gore might have won the Electoral College in 2000 had he beaten up a
shark--something for the Democrats to think about for 2008).
Score: 5
| That’s the worst cataract I’ve ever seen. |
Final Scene: As three of the main characters, by boat, flee Matul, a.k.a. Zombie Island, a.k.a.
ZombieTown, a.k.a. the Caribbean/living dead version of your neighborhood Old Country
Buffet, the character of Brian perishes, due to a zombie bite. The characters of Peter West
and Ann subsequently discuss whether or not they should take Brian's
soon-to-become-zombified corpse back to "civilization". As they do so, they turn on radio to
discover a report of zombies overrunning New York. This is immediately followed by the
film's classic final shot: zombies wandering across the Brooklyn Bridge into New York.
Ultimately this scene works, as it's a final punctuation on the zombie plague that has been
growing steadily throughout the film; even though the main characters survive, there's
apparently not going to be much of an America for them to live in. And as an added bonus,
this scene does a nice job of setting up a sequel without looking too tacked on (this is a
good thing--after all, if you can't milk a zombie franchise, what can you milk?--don't answer
that, pervert). Of course, for this scene to work, you have to leave out questions concerning
(a) how the fuck two people are able to get a New York City radio station on a tiny boat
somewhere in the Caribbean, and (b) where the hell all of those New York invading
zombies came from in the first place--I mean sure, after the film's opening sequence,
there's potentially a zombie in New York, but we don't know that for certain. Additionally, the
way the shot is set up on the bridge with cars going by, it's somehow reminiscent of Taxi,
except with the living dead, and that's just weird. But, I suppose that's nitpicking.
Personally, I would have preferred that Zombi 2 ended with a different sequence that was
apparently shot but wasn't used; in this version, as Peter and Ann make plans to return to
America, the zombie from the film's opening is seen rising from the Hudson River and
preparing to enter New York City. Call me crazy, but I think this probably would have been a
better ending--the ultimate destruction of civilization being implied seems a subtler, more
effective way to freak out one's viewers, and it would probably also whet one's appetite for a
sequel even more than it was already whetted in the first place. You can never have
enough whetting, that's what I say. Still, as I mentioned, the final scene is a "classic", and it
works well within the overall context of the film. Furthermore, this final scene fills the viewer
with not a small amount of dread and hopelessness, and isn't that what one wants from a
zombie movie? Let's just say 'yes' and move on.
Score: 4
Comedy: There isn't much comedy to be had in Zombi 2. However, the film does at least
feature a scene wherein a girl goes S.C.U.B.A. diving in the nude--this scene is totally
gratuitous (I'll deal with it in more detail in the nudity category), but more importantly it gave
rise to a fun game of trying to determine what exactly naked S.C.U.B.A. should be called.
N.U.B.A.? S.C.U.D.E.? S.C.N.U.B.A.? Actually, I guess these things aren't so much
comedic as they are baffling. Never mind.
Score: 2
ZombieTown, a.k.a. the Caribbean/living dead version of your neighborhood Old Country
Buffet, the character of Brian perishes, due to a zombie bite. The characters of Peter West
and Ann subsequently discuss whether or not they should take Brian's
soon-to-become-zombified corpse back to "civilization". As they do so, they turn on radio to
discover a report of zombies overrunning New York. This is immediately followed by the
film's classic final shot: zombies wandering across the Brooklyn Bridge into New York.
Ultimately this scene works, as it's a final punctuation on the zombie plague that has been
growing steadily throughout the film; even though the main characters survive, there's
apparently not going to be much of an America for them to live in. And as an added bonus,
this scene does a nice job of setting up a sequel without looking too tacked on (this is a
good thing--after all, if you can't milk a zombie franchise, what can you milk?--don't answer
that, pervert). Of course, for this scene to work, you have to leave out questions concerning
(a) how the fuck two people are able to get a New York City radio station on a tiny boat
somewhere in the Caribbean, and (b) where the hell all of those New York invading
zombies came from in the first place--I mean sure, after the film's opening sequence,
there's potentially a zombie in New York, but we don't know that for certain. Additionally, the
way the shot is set up on the bridge with cars going by, it's somehow reminiscent of Taxi,
except with the living dead, and that's just weird. But, I suppose that's nitpicking.
Personally, I would have preferred that Zombi 2 ended with a different sequence that was
apparently shot but wasn't used; in this version, as Peter and Ann make plans to return to
America, the zombie from the film's opening is seen rising from the Hudson River and
preparing to enter New York City. Call me crazy, but I think this probably would have been a
better ending--the ultimate destruction of civilization being implied seems a subtler, more
effective way to freak out one's viewers, and it would probably also whet one's appetite for a
sequel even more than it was already whetted in the first place. You can never have
enough whetting, that's what I say. Still, as I mentioned, the final scene is a "classic", and it
works well within the overall context of the film. Furthermore, this final scene fills the viewer
with not a small amount of dread and hopelessness, and isn't that what one wants from a
zombie movie? Let's just say 'yes' and move on.
Score: 4
Comedy: There isn't much comedy to be had in Zombi 2. However, the film does at least
feature a scene wherein a girl goes S.C.U.B.A. diving in the nude--this scene is totally
gratuitous (I'll deal with it in more detail in the nudity category), but more importantly it gave
rise to a fun game of trying to determine what exactly naked S.C.U.B.A. should be called.
N.U.B.A.? S.C.U.D.E.? S.C.N.U.B.A.? Actually, I guess these things aren't so much
comedic as they are baffling. Never mind.
Score: 2
| Naked S.C.U.B.A. diving: always a good idea. |
Originality: A question: which came first, Zombi 2, or the "show that a corpse is about to
revive by showing it moving, unnoticed, beneath a lab sheet" maneuver? Another question:
which came first, Zombi 2, or the "make out with someone that you're not romantically
linked with for the sole purpose of faking out gullible cops" maneuver? As you can probably
tell, Zombi 2 features a variety of things that are either outright clichés or are what the
French term, cliché-esque. What's interesting though is that even though you've seen pretty
much everything in Zombi 2 before, it never really feels stale or "hacky". And, some of its
familiarity is welcome; I think one of the nicer touches of Zombi 2 is that it takes the
"modern" zombie film and, removing it from urban environments, situates most of its action
in the Caribbean, thereby bringing zombie cinema back to its roots.
Ultimately, these considerations are probably moot in relation to the film's intent; I mean,
the zombies in the film are clearly behaviorally modeled after Romero's take on the living
dead, and perhaps more importantly, this film was entitled Zombi 2 in a conscious attempt
to dupe filmgoers into thinking that it was a sequel to Dawn of the Dead (which had been
released in Europe under the title of Zombi). So, can you really criticize something for a lack
of originality when it isn't necessarily trying to be original in the first place? Wow, this
question is so Zen; let me ask you this: what's the sound of one zombie hand clapping?
Score: 3
Rewatchability: Zombi 2's rewatchability is reasonably high--I can say without reservation
that it gets better with each viewing, mainly due to adequate performances and some
sweet-ass gore effects. To put it bluntly: this movie features pretty girls, creepy zombies,
and cool beards--why wouldn't you want to watch it multiple times?
Score: 5
Datedness: There are some facets of Zombi 2 which are dated; first and foremost are the
sideburns on the police officers in the film's opening sequence (they're sideburnriffic!)
These dudes are scruffy to the point that they look like they just wandered out of a jam
session with Grand Funk Railroad. That shit might have flown in the 70s, but nowadays we
like our cops like we like our toilet seats in public restrooms: clean looking, with nary a stray
hair in sight.
Additionally, Zombi 2 is dated by the airport that Peter and Ann fly out of. Specifically, there
is not one Starbuck's in view in the airport whilst our leads are waiting to board their plane.
Thus, we know by definition that the film wasn't made in the modern era, as anyone who's
flown anywhere in the last several years knows that Starbuck's have all but taken over our
nation's airports. Seriously, the last time I flew I'm pretty sure the Starbucks in the terminal
outnumbered the baggage handlers by a ratio of 2-to-1. When is this rampant Starbuck's
proliferation going to stop? I'm pretty sure it's going to get worse before it gets
better--eventually, there will probably be a Starbuck's kiosk in the boarding ramp, just in
case you want to get a Latte at the last minute. But, I digress. What were we talking about?
Oh yeah: zombies. Let's return to that topic, shall we?
Score: 3
revive by showing it moving, unnoticed, beneath a lab sheet" maneuver? Another question:
which came first, Zombi 2, or the "make out with someone that you're not romantically
linked with for the sole purpose of faking out gullible cops" maneuver? As you can probably
tell, Zombi 2 features a variety of things that are either outright clichés or are what the
French term, cliché-esque. What's interesting though is that even though you've seen pretty
much everything in Zombi 2 before, it never really feels stale or "hacky". And, some of its
familiarity is welcome; I think one of the nicer touches of Zombi 2 is that it takes the
"modern" zombie film and, removing it from urban environments, situates most of its action
in the Caribbean, thereby bringing zombie cinema back to its roots.
Ultimately, these considerations are probably moot in relation to the film's intent; I mean,
the zombies in the film are clearly behaviorally modeled after Romero's take on the living
dead, and perhaps more importantly, this film was entitled Zombi 2 in a conscious attempt
to dupe filmgoers into thinking that it was a sequel to Dawn of the Dead (which had been
released in Europe under the title of Zombi). So, can you really criticize something for a lack
of originality when it isn't necessarily trying to be original in the first place? Wow, this
question is so Zen; let me ask you this: what's the sound of one zombie hand clapping?
Score: 3
Rewatchability: Zombi 2's rewatchability is reasonably high--I can say without reservation
that it gets better with each viewing, mainly due to adequate performances and some
sweet-ass gore effects. To put it bluntly: this movie features pretty girls, creepy zombies,
and cool beards--why wouldn't you want to watch it multiple times?
Score: 5
Datedness: There are some facets of Zombi 2 which are dated; first and foremost are the
sideburns on the police officers in the film's opening sequence (they're sideburnriffic!)
These dudes are scruffy to the point that they look like they just wandered out of a jam
session with Grand Funk Railroad. That shit might have flown in the 70s, but nowadays we
like our cops like we like our toilet seats in public restrooms: clean looking, with nary a stray
hair in sight.
Additionally, Zombi 2 is dated by the airport that Peter and Ann fly out of. Specifically, there
is not one Starbuck's in view in the airport whilst our leads are waiting to board their plane.
Thus, we know by definition that the film wasn't made in the modern era, as anyone who's
flown anywhere in the last several years knows that Starbuck's have all but taken over our
nation's airports. Seriously, the last time I flew I'm pretty sure the Starbucks in the terminal
outnumbered the baggage handlers by a ratio of 2-to-1. When is this rampant Starbuck's
proliferation going to stop? I'm pretty sure it's going to get worse before it gets
better--eventually, there will probably be a Starbuck's kiosk in the boarding ramp, just in
case you want to get a Latte at the last minute. But, I digress. What were we talking about?
Oh yeah: zombies. Let's return to that topic, shall we?
Score: 3
| Where the hell am I going to find a latte in this place? |
Soundtrack: When you load the Zombi 2 DVD and you arrive at the main menu, before any
music-proper comes in, the menu is accompanied by a beat--a beat that sounds
remarkably similar to that which starts out the Kiss classic New York Groove. After the beat
goes on for a few seconds, some screaming starts, and at that point it really sounds like
New York Groove, if you know what I mean. I only mention this because I find it interesting
in light of the fact that the voiceover of one of the police officers in the film's opening sounds
ridiculously close to the voiceover used for Peter Criss in Kiss Meets the Phantom of the
Park.
Such DVD considerations aside, the soundtrack of Zombi 2 is the typical synthesizer stuff
endemic to zombie moves of the late 70s and early 80s--it's really neither good nor bad, it's
just there in a way that you've heard a million times before. Kind of like Tom Jones.
Anyways, that being said, I should point out that Zombi 2 does at least feature multiple
instances of the famous "Fulci soundtrack cut", wherein the music in the film will suddenly
swell to an annoyingly high volume making you think that something is about to happen,
only at the height of the music's crescendo, the film will randomly cut to another scene, a
scene featuring no music whatsoever. This effect is always disorienting, and more
importantly for the viewer, it's annoying as shit. Fulci has used this "soundtrack cut"
technique in every film of his that I've ever seen, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why
he seems to think it's a good idea. If I meet Fulci in the afterlife, the first thing I ask him will
be about this soundtrack thing; the second thing will be: "When do we eat?"
Score: 3
Breast Factor/Nudity: As I mentioned earlier, Zombi 2's first instance of nudity is the totally
gratuitous 'nude S.C.U.B.A.-diving for photographic purposes' scene. Actually, 'totally
gratuitous' doesn't even adequately state how unjustified this woman is in getting naked to
go swimming. What's even worse is that extra attention is called to the nudity via the
character of Peter West, who stares, no, LEERS, at the naked swimmer for no real reason,
thus violating Russ Myers 73rd law of exploitative moviemaking (which states, of course,
that if you're going to show tittie shots in a film, don't show the main character staring at
said titties--it's creepy, and it makes the viewer feel like a pervert for doing the same). Still,
while this scene is obnoxiously gratuitous (have I mentioned how gratuitous it is?), I can't
really fault it, because (a) it features nudity, (b) it sets up the awesome zombie/shark fight,
and (c) it features nudity (I felt that this bore repeating) (emphasis on 'bared').
Aside from that, there's also a shower scene, but unfortunately one's enjoyment of it is
diluted by the fact that the aforementioned de-eyeing scene takes place shortly
thereafter--this is especially deleterious to the scene in repeat viewings, where one knows
what's coming.
So what do we have here? Nudity? Yes--but nudity that, between the leering of Peter West
and the brutality of the eye stabbing, comes with a pretty hefty price tag.
Score: 3
Lead Actor: Ian McCulloch as Peter West. The best way to describe Ian McCulloch is to
simply say that he's the poor man's Michael Yorke--you can take that to mean anything that
you want. Additionally, Ian McCulloch makes me realize that the 1970s must have been a
pretty good time to be a dude--not only were you encouraged to grow hideous mustaches
and/or as much chest hair as possible, but it was possible to be balding and still land roles
in films as the handsome leading man--baldness did not preclude one from being
considered a sex symbol. My how things have changed--nowadays, men are expected to
have a full head of hair while simultaneously not being overly "Robin Williams" in the body
hair department, and the only leading roles for bald men are as "the evil arch nemesis of
the hero who has good hair" (see John Malkovich in Con Air for a quintessential instance of
this). When did this change occur? I'm not sure, but for some reason, I blame Patrick
Swayze.
Score: 4
Sidekick(s)/Love Interest: Tisa Farrow as Ann. Yes, she's one of those Farrows--sister of
Mia, for starters. While she's a competent actress in Zombi 2, she was never married to
Frank Sinatra, and John Lennon never wrote a song about her, so she loses 2 points right
there. However, she gains one of them back because of the fact that she and Woody Allen
probably, at some point, discussed Zombi 2. Even if it only happened in passing, that's still
pretty hilarious. Oh, I'm the only one who finds that concept funny? Whatever.
Score: 4
music-proper comes in, the menu is accompanied by a beat--a beat that sounds
remarkably similar to that which starts out the Kiss classic New York Groove. After the beat
goes on for a few seconds, some screaming starts, and at that point it really sounds like
New York Groove, if you know what I mean. I only mention this because I find it interesting
in light of the fact that the voiceover of one of the police officers in the film's opening sounds
ridiculously close to the voiceover used for Peter Criss in Kiss Meets the Phantom of the
Park.
Such DVD considerations aside, the soundtrack of Zombi 2 is the typical synthesizer stuff
endemic to zombie moves of the late 70s and early 80s--it's really neither good nor bad, it's
just there in a way that you've heard a million times before. Kind of like Tom Jones.
Anyways, that being said, I should point out that Zombi 2 does at least feature multiple
instances of the famous "Fulci soundtrack cut", wherein the music in the film will suddenly
swell to an annoyingly high volume making you think that something is about to happen,
only at the height of the music's crescendo, the film will randomly cut to another scene, a
scene featuring no music whatsoever. This effect is always disorienting, and more
importantly for the viewer, it's annoying as shit. Fulci has used this "soundtrack cut"
technique in every film of his that I've ever seen, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why
he seems to think it's a good idea. If I meet Fulci in the afterlife, the first thing I ask him will
be about this soundtrack thing; the second thing will be: "When do we eat?"
Score: 3
Breast Factor/Nudity: As I mentioned earlier, Zombi 2's first instance of nudity is the totally
gratuitous 'nude S.C.U.B.A.-diving for photographic purposes' scene. Actually, 'totally
gratuitous' doesn't even adequately state how unjustified this woman is in getting naked to
go swimming. What's even worse is that extra attention is called to the nudity via the
character of Peter West, who stares, no, LEERS, at the naked swimmer for no real reason,
thus violating Russ Myers 73rd law of exploitative moviemaking (which states, of course,
that if you're going to show tittie shots in a film, don't show the main character staring at
said titties--it's creepy, and it makes the viewer feel like a pervert for doing the same). Still,
while this scene is obnoxiously gratuitous (have I mentioned how gratuitous it is?), I can't
really fault it, because (a) it features nudity, (b) it sets up the awesome zombie/shark fight,
and (c) it features nudity (I felt that this bore repeating) (emphasis on 'bared').
Aside from that, there's also a shower scene, but unfortunately one's enjoyment of it is
diluted by the fact that the aforementioned de-eyeing scene takes place shortly
thereafter--this is especially deleterious to the scene in repeat viewings, where one knows
what's coming.
So what do we have here? Nudity? Yes--but nudity that, between the leering of Peter West
and the brutality of the eye stabbing, comes with a pretty hefty price tag.
Score: 3
Lead Actor: Ian McCulloch as Peter West. The best way to describe Ian McCulloch is to
simply say that he's the poor man's Michael Yorke--you can take that to mean anything that
you want. Additionally, Ian McCulloch makes me realize that the 1970s must have been a
pretty good time to be a dude--not only were you encouraged to grow hideous mustaches
and/or as much chest hair as possible, but it was possible to be balding and still land roles
in films as the handsome leading man--baldness did not preclude one from being
considered a sex symbol. My how things have changed--nowadays, men are expected to
have a full head of hair while simultaneously not being overly "Robin Williams" in the body
hair department, and the only leading roles for bald men are as "the evil arch nemesis of
the hero who has good hair" (see John Malkovich in Con Air for a quintessential instance of
this). When did this change occur? I'm not sure, but for some reason, I blame Patrick
Swayze.
Score: 4
Sidekick(s)/Love Interest: Tisa Farrow as Ann. Yes, she's one of those Farrows--sister of
Mia, for starters. While she's a competent actress in Zombi 2, she was never married to
Frank Sinatra, and John Lennon never wrote a song about her, so she loses 2 points right
there. However, she gains one of them back because of the fact that she and Woody Allen
probably, at some point, discussed Zombi 2. Even if it only happened in passing, that's still
pretty hilarious. Oh, I'm the only one who finds that concept funny? Whatever.
Score: 4
| Tisa Farrow, preparing to pitch her idea for Hannah and Her Zombie Sisters. |
Supporting Cast: The supporting cast in Zombi 2 gets a perfect score, as they give you
exactly what you want out of the cast of low-budget zombie movie: they never distract one's
attention from the movie with incompetent acting, and simultaneously they never
overshadow the film's leads, who themselves aren't great actors to begin with. Additionally,
the character of Brian has what is quite possibly the coolest beard ever sported by a
supporting player in a zombie movie. Something like that doesn't come easy--believe me.
Score: 5
exactly what you want out of the cast of low-budget zombie movie: they never distract one's
attention from the movie with incompetent acting, and simultaneously they never
overshadow the film's leads, who themselves aren't great actors to begin with. Additionally,
the character of Brian has what is quite possibly the coolest beard ever sported by a
supporting player in a zombie movie. Something like that doesn't come easy--believe me.
Score: 5
| That is one cool beard. |
Token Scientist: Zombi 2's token scientist is Dr. Menard (played by Richard Johnson). I
guess technically he's a doctor, although how much this guy knows about medicine is
debatable--while he seems to spend a lot of time at the "hospital" doing "research", in
reality he seems to be drunk for much of the film, and I wouldn't let him play that game
Operation, let alone actually treat someone for any sort of malady. Still, in keeping with the
nice work done by the overall cast, Dr. Menard is everything that you want out of a token
scientist in a zombie movie: kind of crazy, obsessed with understanding why the dead are
returning to life, creepy, gruff, and unshaven. Wow, I just realized that minus the "obsessed
with understanding why the dead are returning to life", the preceding description matches
Nick Nolte to a 't'. Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
Score: 4
Token Fat Guy: The token fat guy in Zombi 2 is the large-and-in-charge zombie from the
film's opening. Not only is this character fat and extremely menacing, but it was also played
by someone named Captain Haggerty, thus aligning the token fat guy with other great
captains, including Captain Solo, Captain Stubing, and Captain Ron. I think that merits a
perfect score don't you?
Score: 5
guess technically he's a doctor, although how much this guy knows about medicine is
debatable--while he seems to spend a lot of time at the "hospital" doing "research", in
reality he seems to be drunk for much of the film, and I wouldn't let him play that game
Operation, let alone actually treat someone for any sort of malady. Still, in keeping with the
nice work done by the overall cast, Dr. Menard is everything that you want out of a token
scientist in a zombie movie: kind of crazy, obsessed with understanding why the dead are
returning to life, creepy, gruff, and unshaven. Wow, I just realized that minus the "obsessed
with understanding why the dead are returning to life", the preceding description matches
Nick Nolte to a 't'. Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
Score: 4
Token Fat Guy: The token fat guy in Zombi 2 is the large-and-in-charge zombie from the
film's opening. Not only is this character fat and extremely menacing, but it was also played
by someone named Captain Haggerty, thus aligning the token fat guy with other great
captains, including Captain Solo, Captain Stubing, and Captain Ron. I think that merits a
perfect score don't you?
Score: 5
| Fat zombie or Milwaukee resident? You tell me. |
Best Line: I think the best line in Zombi 2 has to go to Brian. Sent to Dr. Menard's house in
the midst of (a) having his boat disabled by a shark and (b) a full-on zombie infestation,
Brian sees Menard's house and says, "Nice layout!" I must admit, I admire people who are
able to keep calm in stressful situations and focus on the things that really matter--things
like architecture. Good job, Brian. You're a real asset to the team.
Score: 4
Intangibles: I don't have much to say about Zombi 2's intangibles, other than the fact that I
find the opening dubbed portion of the film, when everyone in New York is speaking in
Italian, to be slightly disorienting, even though it shouldn't be, stereotypically speaking.
Yeah.
Score: 3
Zombie Believability: The zombies in Zombi 2 are relatively believable, (a) because as
noted, the make-up work in this film is exceptional, but perhaps more importantly, (b)
because they never stray very far from George Romero's tried and true template for the
living dead. In other words, the zombies in this film are slow moving, they're decaying, and
they're easily dispatched, unless you let them get numbers on you. In other words, they're a
lot like the Detroit Lions.
Score: 5
Zombie Attack Scenes: As noted in the Scariness category, Zombi 2 starts off with a
zombie-attack, and then nothing happens for a long time in that department. However, as I
wrote, the dread factor is continually ratcheted up, and ultimately, the film has several
quality zombie attack scenes. In addition to the opening boat attack, shark fight, and
eye-gouging gore that I've already mentioned, Zombi 2 also features a rather ripping
(literally) graveyard attack scene that involves enough fake blood to last Gene Simmons for
a week. The point is this: I need to stop mentioning Kiss in this review. I think we can all
agree on that.
Score: 4
the midst of (a) having his boat disabled by a shark and (b) a full-on zombie infestation,
Brian sees Menard's house and says, "Nice layout!" I must admit, I admire people who are
able to keep calm in stressful situations and focus on the things that really matter--things
like architecture. Good job, Brian. You're a real asset to the team.
Score: 4
Intangibles: I don't have much to say about Zombi 2's intangibles, other than the fact that I
find the opening dubbed portion of the film, when everyone in New York is speaking in
Italian, to be slightly disorienting, even though it shouldn't be, stereotypically speaking.
Yeah.
Score: 3
Zombie Believability: The zombies in Zombi 2 are relatively believable, (a) because as
noted, the make-up work in this film is exceptional, but perhaps more importantly, (b)
because they never stray very far from George Romero's tried and true template for the
living dead. In other words, the zombies in this film are slow moving, they're decaying, and
they're easily dispatched, unless you let them get numbers on you. In other words, they're a
lot like the Detroit Lions.
Score: 5
Zombie Attack Scenes: As noted in the Scariness category, Zombi 2 starts off with a
zombie-attack, and then nothing happens for a long time in that department. However, as I
wrote, the dread factor is continually ratcheted up, and ultimately, the film has several
quality zombie attack scenes. In addition to the opening boat attack, shark fight, and
eye-gouging gore that I've already mentioned, Zombi 2 also features a rather ripping
(literally) graveyard attack scene that involves enough fake blood to last Gene Simmons for
a week. The point is this: I need to stop mentioning Kiss in this review. I think we can all
agree on that.
Score: 4
| A Very Zombie Thanksgiving. |
Zombie "Orgy" Scenes: Zombi 2 culminates in a classic zombie orgy, in which the living
dead converge en masse on Matul Island's hospital/church, looking for human flesh (at
least, I think that's what they were looking for; is it possible that the zombies were
misunderstood, and were converging on the hospital looking for Polio vaccine?) This
scene has everything that you want in a zombie orgy: doors bashing, windows crashing,
guns cracking, flames crackling, and more zombies than you can shake Brian's beard at.
Excellent.
Score: 5
Anti-Zombie Weaponry: Not only is a vast array of anti-zombie weaponry utilized in Zombi 2,
but said weaponry is striking in terms of its diversity. To wit, in this film, the following items
are used to do battle with the living dead: a sea-plant, pistols, antlers, sheets, a Jeep, a
shovel, Molotov Cocktails, and several shotguns. That's commitment to zombie-ass kickery
by any means necessary, right there.
Score: 4
dead converge en masse on Matul Island's hospital/church, looking for human flesh (at
least, I think that's what they were looking for; is it possible that the zombies were
misunderstood, and were converging on the hospital looking for Polio vaccine?) This
scene has everything that you want in a zombie orgy: doors bashing, windows crashing,
guns cracking, flames crackling, and more zombies than you can shake Brian's beard at.
Excellent.
Score: 5
Anti-Zombie Weaponry: Not only is a vast array of anti-zombie weaponry utilized in Zombi 2,
but said weaponry is striking in terms of its diversity. To wit, in this film, the following items
are used to do battle with the living dead: a sea-plant, pistols, antlers, sheets, a Jeep, a
shovel, Molotov Cocktails, and several shotguns. That's commitment to zombie-ass kickery
by any means necessary, right there.
Score: 4
| Nothing neutralizes the living dead like a sea-plant to the face. |
Zombification Explanation: Unless I missed something (which is quite possible, because
I'm a heavy drinker), a definitive reason for the dead returning to life is never proffered in this
film. While Dr. Menard is researching the problem, he can't explain what's happening--and
no one can say if Voodoo is responsible, or something naturalistic. While some might see
this as a plot deficiency, I actually think it works in Zombi 2's favor--I for one find it more
convincing in zombie films when characters simply have to deal with the zombie plague at
hand, without having the government or the military or scientists or whomever telling them
exactly what's happening and why. But, I'm iconoclastic like that.
Score: 4
Zombie "Uniqueness": You want zombie uniqueness? Zombi 2's got it. As a refresher,
this film features a zombie fighting a fucking shark. And, when the zombie impales Dr.
Menard's wife's eye on that door frame, it looks intentional; is this a zombie using a
rudimentary weapon? Are we witnessing the evolution of the zombie? Possibly--this film
also features zombies that can climb through windows, which is admirable, and is
something that apes can do, right? I'll go ahead and say it: Lucio Fulci is the Charles
Darwin of zombie auteurs. I have no idea what I'm talking about anymore.
Score: 5
Zombie Consistency: The living dead in Zombi 2 are consistent enough, in that they all
shamble about, and none of them speak Mandarin Chinese. Works for me.
Score: 4
Signature Zombie: Zombi 2 doesn't necessarily feature a signature zombie, so I'll go ahead
and say that the crusty, decaying zombie from the DVD's slipcase is the signature zombie,
in which case, I have to ask: if zombies like to eat people and sharks, why don't they also
like to eat worms? Because the zombie on the case is covered in those things, and I have
to imagine that for a hungry undead, worms would definitely hit the spot in lieu of human
flesh. But, what do I know?
Score: 2
I'm a heavy drinker), a definitive reason for the dead returning to life is never proffered in this
film. While Dr. Menard is researching the problem, he can't explain what's happening--and
no one can say if Voodoo is responsible, or something naturalistic. While some might see
this as a plot deficiency, I actually think it works in Zombi 2's favor--I for one find it more
convincing in zombie films when characters simply have to deal with the zombie plague at
hand, without having the government or the military or scientists or whomever telling them
exactly what's happening and why. But, I'm iconoclastic like that.
Score: 4
Zombie "Uniqueness": You want zombie uniqueness? Zombi 2's got it. As a refresher,
this film features a zombie fighting a fucking shark. And, when the zombie impales Dr.
Menard's wife's eye on that door frame, it looks intentional; is this a zombie using a
rudimentary weapon? Are we witnessing the evolution of the zombie? Possibly--this film
also features zombies that can climb through windows, which is admirable, and is
something that apes can do, right? I'll go ahead and say it: Lucio Fulci is the Charles
Darwin of zombie auteurs. I have no idea what I'm talking about anymore.
Score: 5
Zombie Consistency: The living dead in Zombi 2 are consistent enough, in that they all
shamble about, and none of them speak Mandarin Chinese. Works for me.
Score: 4
Signature Zombie: Zombi 2 doesn't necessarily feature a signature zombie, so I'll go ahead
and say that the crusty, decaying zombie from the DVD's slipcase is the signature zombie,
in which case, I have to ask: if zombies like to eat people and sharks, why don't they also
like to eat worms? Because the zombie on the case is covered in those things, and I have
to imagine that for a hungry undead, worms would definitely hit the spot in lieu of human
flesh. But, what do I know?
Score: 2
| The signature zombie, doing what signature zombies do best: not eating worms. |
Total Points: 120
Verdict: I've been rather hard on Lucio Fulci on this site (see my reviews of City of the
Living Dead and The House by the Cemetery for proof of this), but not, in my opinion,
without cause. Fortunately, there is at least a movie like Zombi 2 for Fulci's reputation to
rest on. To put it simply, Zombi 2 is a masterpiece of zombie cinema, and it deserves its
place in the zombie canon. That being said, it makes Fulci's other incoherent films even
more disastrous in my eyes, because Zombi 2 shows what the man is capable of. Look at
it like this: if Lucio Fulci were Metallica, Zombi 2 would be his Master of Puppets, while his
so-called zombie trilogy** of City of the Living Dead, The Beyond, and The House by the
Cemetery would be his Load, Reload, and St. Anger, respectively. This begs the
question--in this scenario, who's the Lars Ulrich of zombie cinema? I don't know--some
questions are best left unanswered. The point is this: if you like the living dead, Zombi 2 is
essential viewing--just approach the rest of Fulci's zombie movies with caution.
**See Jamie Russell's Book of the Dead: The Complete History of Zombie Cinema, pp.
137-142, for a different take on Fulci's zombie trilogy.
Next Time: The Grapes of Death
Verdict: I've been rather hard on Lucio Fulci on this site (see my reviews of City of the
Living Dead and The House by the Cemetery for proof of this), but not, in my opinion,
without cause. Fortunately, there is at least a movie like Zombi 2 for Fulci's reputation to
rest on. To put it simply, Zombi 2 is a masterpiece of zombie cinema, and it deserves its
place in the zombie canon. That being said, it makes Fulci's other incoherent films even
more disastrous in my eyes, because Zombi 2 shows what the man is capable of. Look at
it like this: if Lucio Fulci were Metallica, Zombi 2 would be his Master of Puppets, while his
so-called zombie trilogy** of City of the Living Dead, The Beyond, and The House by the
Cemetery would be his Load, Reload, and St. Anger, respectively. This begs the
question--in this scenario, who's the Lars Ulrich of zombie cinema? I don't know--some
questions are best left unanswered. The point is this: if you like the living dead, Zombi 2 is
essential viewing--just approach the rest of Fulci's zombie movies with caution.
**See Jamie Russell's Book of the Dead: The Complete History of Zombie Cinema, pp.
137-142, for a different take on Fulci's zombie trilogy.
Next Time: The Grapes of Death
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