The ZombieTastic Review of:
Fido
Fido
Director: Andrew Currie
Year of Release: 2006
Country of Origin: Canada
Type of Zombie Film: Zombie Comedy (aka, "Zombedy").
Also Known as: Fido O Mascote, Zonbîno, and Zombino (Which is
weird, because isn't the Zombino Machine what they use to
resurface ice rinks? What I'm really asking is this: has the NHL
been infiltrated by hordes of the living dead?)
Part of a series?: No.
The Scoring
Plot: Fido is based on an alternate history in which humans live with zombies in their midst;
after having been plunged into a war with zombies (called, oddly enough, "The Zombie
War"), humans have largely subdued the living dead and put them to work doing menial
tasks such as delivering milk and opening doors. A corporation named Zomcon has
developed and professionalized the control of zombie behavior, which I guess makes them
sort of like a bizarro McDonald's in way. If that makes any sense. Anyway, I was trying to
explain the plot of this film. Here it is in a nutshell: one day, a family hires a zombie to be
their personal assistant. Mayhem ensues.
Score: 4
Year of Release: 2006
Country of Origin: Canada
Type of Zombie Film: Zombie Comedy (aka, "Zombedy").
Also Known as: Fido O Mascote, Zonbîno, and Zombino (Which is
weird, because isn't the Zombino Machine what they use to
resurface ice rinks? What I'm really asking is this: has the NHL
been infiltrated by hordes of the living dead?)
Part of a series?: No.
The Scoring
Plot: Fido is based on an alternate history in which humans live with zombies in their midst;
after having been plunged into a war with zombies (called, oddly enough, "The Zombie
War"), humans have largely subdued the living dead and put them to work doing menial
tasks such as delivering milk and opening doors. A corporation named Zomcon has
developed and professionalized the control of zombie behavior, which I guess makes them
sort of like a bizarro McDonald's in way. If that makes any sense. Anyway, I was trying to
explain the plot of this film. Here it is in a nutshell: one day, a family hires a zombie to be
their personal assistant. Mayhem ensues.
Score: 4
| Fido hears a who. |
Exposition: In a stunning break with tradition, the exposition in Fido is unobtrusive and
entertaining to boot. The film gets everyone quickly up to speed through the form of an
educational film strip (Zomcon presents "A Bright New World") at the film's outset. If only
other zombie films handled exposition this way, the world would be a much better place.
Well, I mean, that, and if everyone stopped killing each other.
Score: 5
entertaining to boot. The film gets everyone quickly up to speed through the form of an
educational film strip (Zomcon presents "A Bright New World") at the film's outset. If only
other zombie films handled exposition this way, the world would be a much better place.
Well, I mean, that, and if everyone stopped killing each other.
Score: 5
| Now this is how you handle exposition. |
Plausibility: I find the happenings in Fido to be incredibly plausible, for this simple reason: if
zombies overran the Earth, you can bet that someone would find a way to profit from it.
Capitalists: what a bunch of dicks.
Score: 3
Production Value: As the fashionability of zombie features has risen in recent years, so
have the production values of such films. Gone are the days of Zombie Holocaust, when a
production couldn't even afford a mannequin that could keep all its limbs attached**. Fido
is no exception to this recent rise in production value--while the flick doesn't feature the
amount of CGI of a Resident Evil or the set pieces of Land of the Dead, it's still incredibly
well crafted. Essentially, here's what you need to know: Fido looks like a Tim Burton movie,
except without all the Johnny Depp.
**Editor's Note: If you'd like to learn more about this phenomenon, check out
ZombieTastic's review of Zombie Holocaust.
Score: 4
Special Effects: Let's put it this way: there are more words in this sentence then there are
special effects in Fido. Yeah.
Score: 1
zombies overran the Earth, you can bet that someone would find a way to profit from it.
Capitalists: what a bunch of dicks.
Score: 3
Production Value: As the fashionability of zombie features has risen in recent years, so
have the production values of such films. Gone are the days of Zombie Holocaust, when a
production couldn't even afford a mannequin that could keep all its limbs attached**. Fido
is no exception to this recent rise in production value--while the flick doesn't feature the
amount of CGI of a Resident Evil or the set pieces of Land of the Dead, it's still incredibly
well crafted. Essentially, here's what you need to know: Fido looks like a Tim Burton movie,
except without all the Johnny Depp.
**Editor's Note: If you'd like to learn more about this phenomenon, check out
ZombieTastic's review of Zombie Holocaust.
Score: 4
Special Effects: Let's put it this way: there are more words in this sentence then there are
special effects in Fido. Yeah.
Score: 1
| Zombie target practice: an activity that the whole family can enjoy. |
Makeup: The makeup in Fido is decent, although it's nothing spectacular. I suppose that's
understandable, considering that the zombies in the film spend more time walking around
and groaning than they do trying to look like menacing, flesh hungry monsters. As my
transvestite (and ardent Alice Cooper fan) Uncle Bart used to ask, what's the point of
wearing makeup if you're not going to try to freak people out? I'm still trying to figure out
what that means.
Score: 2
Scariness: One thing that Fido is: whimsical. One thing that Fido is not: scary. But, as the
film's creators were clearly going for whimsy over scares, I guess we shouldn't hold that
against the film. But then again, this category is about scares, so I have to deduct as many
points as possible, right? Right.
Score: 1
understandable, considering that the zombies in the film spend more time walking around
and groaning than they do trying to look like menacing, flesh hungry monsters. As my
transvestite (and ardent Alice Cooper fan) Uncle Bart used to ask, what's the point of
wearing makeup if you're not going to try to freak people out? I'm still trying to figure out
what that means.
Score: 2
Scariness: One thing that Fido is: whimsical. One thing that Fido is not: scary. But, as the
film's creators were clearly going for whimsy over scares, I guess we shouldn't hold that
against the film. But then again, this category is about scares, so I have to deduct as many
points as possible, right? Right.
Score: 1
| Does this zombie have a severed arm, or is that a lobster hanging out of its sleeve? You tell me. |
Goriness: Just as there aren't many scares in Fido, there aren't many gores, either. Wait,
that came out wrong--it sounds like I'm talking about rhinos, which I'm not trying to do (as
far as I know). All I'm saying is this: there's a rather gross severed arm on display in Fido,
but other than that, there's hardly any gore on hand (pun intended), as most of the violence
committed in the film is done so off-camera or in silhouette, thereby proving the old adage
that goriness and scariness go hand-in-hand, especially when the hands in question are
severed. Everybody got that?
Score: 1
Final Scene: After an all-out assault on Zomcon headquarters, the final scene of Fido
shows us a world where the living and the living dead are living together. Is the result, as
one would assume, mass hysteria? Not at all--quite the opposite, actually, because
humans and zombies have put aside their differences (you know, the fact that one group
wants to eat the other one) and somehow learned to make nice. Honestly, this vision is
kind of a drag, because I'm rather prejudiced towards zombies as it is, and I don't want
anyone challenging my assumptions or worldview. IT'S HOW I ROLL.
Score: 2
that came out wrong--it sounds like I'm talking about rhinos, which I'm not trying to do (as
far as I know). All I'm saying is this: there's a rather gross severed arm on display in Fido,
but other than that, there's hardly any gore on hand (pun intended), as most of the violence
committed in the film is done so off-camera or in silhouette, thereby proving the old adage
that goriness and scariness go hand-in-hand, especially when the hands in question are
severed. Everybody got that?
Score: 1
Final Scene: After an all-out assault on Zomcon headquarters, the final scene of Fido
shows us a world where the living and the living dead are living together. Is the result, as
one would assume, mass hysteria? Not at all--quite the opposite, actually, because
humans and zombies have put aside their differences (you know, the fact that one group
wants to eat the other one) and somehow learned to make nice. Honestly, this vision is
kind of a drag, because I'm rather prejudiced towards zombies as it is, and I don't want
anyone challenging my assumptions or worldview. IT'S HOW I ROLL.
Score: 2
| Zomcon headquarters: where the elite meet. And kill zombies. |
| The future sure looks like a lot of fun. |
Soundtrack: A zombie movie with an actual score? A zombie movie featuring
non-keyboard-based music? SIGN ME UP.
Score: 4
Breast Factor/Nudity: For all of the good that comes with a zombie movie actually having
funding, there is usually one down-side: lack of nudity. Accordingly, Fido could accurately
be labeled a titty-free zone. I guess that's a sacrifice that we all have to be willing to make.
Score: 1
non-keyboard-based music? SIGN ME UP.
Score: 4
Breast Factor/Nudity: For all of the good that comes with a zombie movie actually having
funding, there is usually one down-side: lack of nudity. Accordingly, Fido could accurately
be labeled a titty-free zone. I guess that's a sacrifice that we all have to be willing to make.
Score: 1
| Dr. Geiger, friend to all. Well, to all humans, anyway. To zombies--not so much. |
| Token fat guy + bullet through the head = comedy gold. |
Lead Actor: Is Fido's lead actor its main human character (K'Sun Ray as Timmy Robinson)
or its titular zombie character (played by Billy Connolly)? As I'm a wuss and don't really want
to trash a child actor's skills in this space (put it this way: the most interesting thing about
K'Sun Ray is that his name is K'Sun Ray), I'll go ahead and declare Billy Connolly to be
Fido's lead actor and say that he does a superb job creating a likeable, sympathetic
zombie. This is especially impressive when you consider that Billy Connolly pulls off this
acting feat with a character that (a) kills children and more importantly (b) has exactly zero
lines of dialogue. Way to go.
Score: 4
Sidekick(s)/Love Interest: As there was confusion over Fido's lead actor, there's also
confusion over whether the sidekick/love interest is Alexia Fast as Cindy Bottoms or
Carrie-Anne Moss as Helen Robinson. Either way, I don't really have much to say here, so
let's just call it a decent job by all concerned and move on.
Score: 3
Overall Cast: Fido was produced with an actual budget (relative to the average living dead
flick), thus it is a rarity in the world of zombie cinema: it's a movie with a cast of actors who
understand that acting involves more than shouting, running, and shouting some more. If I
ever get my hands on a time machine, I might send a copy of Fido back to the late 1960s so
that the douche bags in Blood of Ghastly Horror can see how acting is actually done.
Score: 4
Token Scientist: Fido's token scientist is Dr. Reinhold Geiger, the illustrious founder of
Zomcon and discoverer of the fact that if a zombie's brain is destroyed, so is the zombie.
Additionally, Dr. Geiger invented "The Domestication Collar" (used to pacify and control
zombies everywhere) and he has a really cool name. That's an impressive token scientist
resume if ever I've seen one (and I have).
Score: 5
or its titular zombie character (played by Billy Connolly)? As I'm a wuss and don't really want
to trash a child actor's skills in this space (put it this way: the most interesting thing about
K'Sun Ray is that his name is K'Sun Ray), I'll go ahead and declare Billy Connolly to be
Fido's lead actor and say that he does a superb job creating a likeable, sympathetic
zombie. This is especially impressive when you consider that Billy Connolly pulls off this
acting feat with a character that (a) kills children and more importantly (b) has exactly zero
lines of dialogue. Way to go.
Score: 4
Sidekick(s)/Love Interest: As there was confusion over Fido's lead actor, there's also
confusion over whether the sidekick/love interest is Alexia Fast as Cindy Bottoms or
Carrie-Anne Moss as Helen Robinson. Either way, I don't really have much to say here, so
let's just call it a decent job by all concerned and move on.
Score: 3
Overall Cast: Fido was produced with an actual budget (relative to the average living dead
flick), thus it is a rarity in the world of zombie cinema: it's a movie with a cast of actors who
understand that acting involves more than shouting, running, and shouting some more. If I
ever get my hands on a time machine, I might send a copy of Fido back to the late 1960s so
that the douche bags in Blood of Ghastly Horror can see how acting is actually done.
Score: 4
Token Scientist: Fido's token scientist is Dr. Reinhold Geiger, the illustrious founder of
Zomcon and discoverer of the fact that if a zombie's brain is destroyed, so is the zombie.
Additionally, Dr. Geiger invented "The Domestication Collar" (used to pacify and control
zombies everywhere) and he has a really cool name. That's an impressive token scientist
resume if ever I've seen one (and I have).
Score: 5
| A warning to all those who would oppose Zomcon: cooperate, or you'll be forced to board the aqua interrogation wagon! |
| Zombie doormen: a good idea. |
| Zombie traffic cops: an even better idea. |
Token Fat Guy: Fido's main token fat guy is a character by the name of Stan, but as he's a
kid, I can't really tee-off on him. Instead, we'll go with the character of Bill Peterson, who
makes the most of his minimal screen time by getting shot in the head after becoming
zombified. Mr. Peterson brings to mind that ancient philosophical conundrum: if a guy's fat,
and he becomes a zombie and eats a lot of people, does he get more fat? Who knows? If
Wittgenstein couldn't figure this one out, I sure as shit can't.
Score: 2
kid, I can't really tee-off on him. Instead, we'll go with the character of Bill Peterson, who
makes the most of his minimal screen time by getting shot in the head after becoming
zombified. Mr. Peterson brings to mind that ancient philosophical conundrum: if a guy's fat,
and he becomes a zombie and eats a lot of people, does he get more fat? Who knows? If
Wittgenstein couldn't figure this one out, I sure as shit can't.
Score: 2
Zombie Believability: When it comes to the believability of the zombies in Fido, I must admit
that I'm on the fence. On the one hand, the zombies are definitely believable when they're
not wearing their domestication collars and are therefore free to get their eat on. On the
other hand, when they are wearing their collars, the zombies sometimes react to and
interact with the humans in their environment in a way that indicates that they're more than
just mindless automatons. Is this because the film's makers are trying to say something
about domesticating and controlling the living dead (a la Dr. Logan in Day of the Dead), or
did they just realize that unless the zombies were able to interact with the humans, there
would be a lot less happening in this film? How the hell should I know?
Score: 2
that I'm on the fence. On the one hand, the zombies are definitely believable when they're
not wearing their domestication collars and are therefore free to get their eat on. On the
other hand, when they are wearing their collars, the zombies sometimes react to and
interact with the humans in their environment in a way that indicates that they're more than
just mindless automatons. Is this because the film's makers are trying to say something
about domesticating and controlling the living dead (a la Dr. Logan in Day of the Dead), or
did they just realize that unless the zombies were able to interact with the humans, there
would be a lot less happening in this film? How the hell should I know?
Score: 2
Anti-Zombie Weaponry: Fido features perhaps the greatest anti-zombie weaponry ever
seen in a zombie film, which is weird, considering that the weapons in question aren't really
weapons at all. Rather, they're devices that detect and control the living dead; specifically,
they are the Zombie Alert Heart Monitor, which lets you know if the previously beating heart
of a nearby person is not doing so much beating at all anymore, and special zombie shock
collars with remote control (all items are made by Zomcon and available for purchase at
discerning retailers everywhere). Neuter the threat, rather than destroy it--that's novel
thinking right there. Given that these "weapons" sound kind of like products that one might
purchase for a pet, I have to mention: if only someone could figure out how to stop zombie
fleas, then we'd really be in business.
Score: 5
Zombification Explanation: After a "cloud of radiation" engulfed the planet, "space particles"
caused the dead to rise and start chomping on people. And then of course the zombie
wars happened and a lot of people became dead and then zombies, thus continuing the
circle of life/death/living death. Makes sense to me.
Score: 4
Zombie Uniqueness: The zombies in Fido are unique relative to most of their cinematic
living dead ilk in that they seem to possess some degree of recognition of their own
situation, and they generally have the ability to feel, emote, and think rationally. There are
numerous examples of this, including Fido reacting negatively to a picture of a severed
zombie head, Fido enjoying the smell of perfume, and another zombie becoming offended
when a dude slaps a female zombie's butt.
Perhaps most importantly, Fido and other zombies in the film appear to be able to develop
relationships (platonic or otherwise) with human beings, and to learn to control their
flesh-eating impulses. This begs the question: do zombies eat people by choice, or are
they just (re)born that way? Somebody get Jerry Falwell on the phone: I'm sure he'd have
an opinion on this.
Score: 3
Zombie Consistency: As mentioned in the previous category, some of the zombies in Fido
are able to control their need to eat people, while others seem to be your average, run of the
mill zombies. As such, I have to score the film low in this category, because even if it's by
design, the zombies are still about as consistent as Britney Spears' ability to dance in the
midst of one of her patented three-month coke benders, which is to say, not consistent at
all.
Score: 1
Signature Zombie: Fido's signature zombie is...Fido. DUH. Fido is quite likeable, and as
such, he fits in with Day of the Dead's Bub as "zombies that most people like better than
most people." And why not? Fido is loyal, he's smart, he's competent, and perhaps most
importantly, he's the only zombie that I know who is named after a dog and has had a film
named after him. Which I guess means the film was named after a dog too, when you think
about it. Weird.
Score: 4
Total Points: 87
Verdict: As I've said numerous times in this review, while Fido has its merits, it overstays
its welcome; perhaps the premise would have worked better as a short film. I don't know.
Still, there's a lot to like about Fido. At the very least, it tries to do things much differently
from the average zombie movie, and in a world awash with multiple installments of
Resident Evil and the films of Andreas Schnaas, we should at least recognize quality effort
when we see it.
Next Time: Zombie Holocaust
seen in a zombie film, which is weird, considering that the weapons in question aren't really
weapons at all. Rather, they're devices that detect and control the living dead; specifically,
they are the Zombie Alert Heart Monitor, which lets you know if the previously beating heart
of a nearby person is not doing so much beating at all anymore, and special zombie shock
collars with remote control (all items are made by Zomcon and available for purchase at
discerning retailers everywhere). Neuter the threat, rather than destroy it--that's novel
thinking right there. Given that these "weapons" sound kind of like products that one might
purchase for a pet, I have to mention: if only someone could figure out how to stop zombie
fleas, then we'd really be in business.
Score: 5
Zombification Explanation: After a "cloud of radiation" engulfed the planet, "space particles"
caused the dead to rise and start chomping on people. And then of course the zombie
wars happened and a lot of people became dead and then zombies, thus continuing the
circle of life/death/living death. Makes sense to me.
Score: 4
Zombie Uniqueness: The zombies in Fido are unique relative to most of their cinematic
living dead ilk in that they seem to possess some degree of recognition of their own
situation, and they generally have the ability to feel, emote, and think rationally. There are
numerous examples of this, including Fido reacting negatively to a picture of a severed
zombie head, Fido enjoying the smell of perfume, and another zombie becoming offended
when a dude slaps a female zombie's butt.
Perhaps most importantly, Fido and other zombies in the film appear to be able to develop
relationships (platonic or otherwise) with human beings, and to learn to control their
flesh-eating impulses. This begs the question: do zombies eat people by choice, or are
they just (re)born that way? Somebody get Jerry Falwell on the phone: I'm sure he'd have
an opinion on this.
Score: 3
Zombie Consistency: As mentioned in the previous category, some of the zombies in Fido
are able to control their need to eat people, while others seem to be your average, run of the
mill zombies. As such, I have to score the film low in this category, because even if it's by
design, the zombies are still about as consistent as Britney Spears' ability to dance in the
midst of one of her patented three-month coke benders, which is to say, not consistent at
all.
Score: 1
Signature Zombie: Fido's signature zombie is...Fido. DUH. Fido is quite likeable, and as
such, he fits in with Day of the Dead's Bub as "zombies that most people like better than
most people." And why not? Fido is loyal, he's smart, he's competent, and perhaps most
importantly, he's the only zombie that I know who is named after a dog and has had a film
named after him. Which I guess means the film was named after a dog too, when you think
about it. Weird.
Score: 4
Total Points: 87
Verdict: As I've said numerous times in this review, while Fido has its merits, it overstays
its welcome; perhaps the premise would have worked better as a short film. I don't know.
Still, there's a lot to like about Fido. At the very least, it tries to do things much differently
from the average zombie movie, and in a world awash with multiple installments of
Resident Evil and the films of Andreas Schnaas, we should at least recognize quality effort
when we see it.
Next Time: Zombie Holocaust
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Comedy: Fido definitely has laughs, but not as many as you'd expect from a movie that goes
for humor over gore. There's the elementary school teacher referring to school kids on the
firing range as "outdoor education", there's the Lassie parody when Fido the zombie tries to
explain to Timmy's mom that there's trouble afoot, there's "Death" magazine (instead of
"Life" magazine--get it?)...there's all that and more. Look, let's be honest: writing about
comedy is like writing about sex: it's boring and dry (literally and figuratively) (sorry, fans of
Penthouse Forum), so let's just move on.
Score: 3
Originality: On the whole, Fido is quite original; to the point: if you can find any other zombie
movie with premise such as this, you're either a magician or a liar (or both).
That being said, there are numerous elements in the film that are a little too reminiscent of
other zombie projects, including:
Still, all of that being said, Fido does a surprisingly good job at taking a concept that we're
all overly familiar with (zombies like to eat people) and doing something fresh with it. The
conclusion: ultimately, Fido is a lot like Led Zeppelin: it's pretty damn original, except when it
isn't.
Score: 3
Rewatchability: Alas, for everything interesting and new that Fido does, it's got to score
rather low in the 'repeat viewing' category, because honestly, even the first time through the
film I started getting bored around the one-hour mark. The problem is that while the film's
central idea is interesting, ultimately the film's makers don't do enough with it; for example,
while the film does make some attempt at social commentary, it really doesn't have that
much to say in this regard, and so it doesn't have the depth and repeat viewing potential of,
say, Dawn of the Dead. In other words, there's not enough going on in this film to sustain
interest through one viewing, let alone two or more. To the point, Fido probably would have
worked better as a short film. In the end, watching the film is like making out with the entire
Swedish Bikini Team: it sounds good on paper, but in execution it's cumbersome and a
little disappointing.
Score: 1
Datedness: As Fido is set in the 1950s, it has a certain timeless quality to it. I don't have
much else to say here, so let me ask the question: is it because of the fact that the movie
takes place in the '50s that there aren't any zombie rights activists on-hand? Because I'll be
honest: if Fido were set in any subsequent era, it would have to have pro-zombie rights
groups protesting the unfair, inhumane (or "inzombane", as it were), and exploitative
treatment of zombies in this film. I've said it before and I'll say it again: if the dead ever do
start rising from the grave, you can bet your ass that the Z.C.L.U. will be formed quicker than
you can say "brains." I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
Score: 4
for humor over gore. There's the elementary school teacher referring to school kids on the
firing range as "outdoor education", there's the Lassie parody when Fido the zombie tries to
explain to Timmy's mom that there's trouble afoot, there's "Death" magazine (instead of
"Life" magazine--get it?)...there's all that and more. Look, let's be honest: writing about
comedy is like writing about sex: it's boring and dry (literally and figuratively) (sorry, fans of
Penthouse Forum), so let's just move on.
Score: 3
Originality: On the whole, Fido is quite original; to the point: if you can find any other zombie
movie with premise such as this, you're either a magician or a liar (or both).
That being said, there are numerous elements in the film that are a little too reminiscent of
other zombie projects, including:
- the notion of a global zombie war, which is the central idea of Max Brooks' World
War Z; - the idea that a zombie plague has in fact actually happened in real life (this might be
a stretch, but to me it brings to mind The Return of the Living Dead, which takes
Night of the Living Dead as a "true" starting point); - Mr. Theopolis treating his personal zombie as his girlfriend, which is another in a
long line of human/zombie love pairings; - just for the record, I would say that Zomcon and its operatives are just a more
refined, less homely, and better funded version of The Dead Next Door's Zombie
Squad.
Still, all of that being said, Fido does a surprisingly good job at taking a concept that we're
all overly familiar with (zombies like to eat people) and doing something fresh with it. The
conclusion: ultimately, Fido is a lot like Led Zeppelin: it's pretty damn original, except when it
isn't.
Score: 3
Rewatchability: Alas, for everything interesting and new that Fido does, it's got to score
rather low in the 'repeat viewing' category, because honestly, even the first time through the
film I started getting bored around the one-hour mark. The problem is that while the film's
central idea is interesting, ultimately the film's makers don't do enough with it; for example,
while the film does make some attempt at social commentary, it really doesn't have that
much to say in this regard, and so it doesn't have the depth and repeat viewing potential of,
say, Dawn of the Dead. In other words, there's not enough going on in this film to sustain
interest through one viewing, let alone two or more. To the point, Fido probably would have
worked better as a short film. In the end, watching the film is like making out with the entire
Swedish Bikini Team: it sounds good on paper, but in execution it's cumbersome and a
little disappointing.
Score: 1
Datedness: As Fido is set in the 1950s, it has a certain timeless quality to it. I don't have
much else to say here, so let me ask the question: is it because of the fact that the movie
takes place in the '50s that there aren't any zombie rights activists on-hand? Because I'll be
honest: if Fido were set in any subsequent era, it would have to have pro-zombie rights
groups protesting the unfair, inhumane (or "inzombane", as it were), and exploitative
treatment of zombies in this film. I've said it before and I'll say it again: if the dead ever do
start rising from the grave, you can bet your ass that the Z.C.L.U. will be formed quicker than
you can say "brains." I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
Score: 4
| Fido displays that rarest of zombie emotions: shame. That, or he just got out of the sauna and is a little cold. Either way, this is, sadly, the only nudity in the entire movie. |
Best Line: The best lines in Fido seem to come not from dialogue between characters, but
rather from various Zomcon propaganda materials, materials which include gems such as
"Thanks to Zomcon, we can all become productive members of society—even after we die"
(let's face it: this is something that Wal-Mart would implement if they had the means).
Ultimately, I think the best line in Fido is from a Zomcon commercial: "The elderly—they
seem friendly enough, but can you really trust them? No." Not only is this line funny, but it's
true. That's what I call good writing.
Score: 5
Intangibles: Are the happenings in Fido a metaphor for the global war on terror and/or the
situation in Iraq? After all, the cities in Fido are all surrounded by protective fences, and
Zomcon repeatedly uses the phrase "protect the homeland". Or, are the happenings in
Fido a critique of capitalism? After all, it seems that most people in the film only hire and
exploit zombie servants in order to project an image of financial well-being to their
neighbors (the whole "keeping up with the Joneses" thing). Or, are the happenings in Fido
symbolic of the current illegal immigration "crisis" in the USA? After all, everyone in the film
must have a universal identification card, and zombies do all the grunt work that humans
refuse to do. I don't know--you'll have to answer these questions for yourself. All I'm saying
is that the fact that these elements exist within the film does, at times, help elevate it past
mere escapist zombie entertainment.
However, despite those considerations, the film suffers from a serious pacing problem. As
I mentioned earlier, Fido would probably have worked better as a short film, because after
about 45 minutes or so, the film seriously starts to drag, such that by the end, I didn't really
care what happened in the film, just that it ended. I think it goes without saying that that's
not a good thing.
Score: 2
rather from various Zomcon propaganda materials, materials which include gems such as
"Thanks to Zomcon, we can all become productive members of society—even after we die"
(let's face it: this is something that Wal-Mart would implement if they had the means).
Ultimately, I think the best line in Fido is from a Zomcon commercial: "The elderly—they
seem friendly enough, but can you really trust them? No." Not only is this line funny, but it's
true. That's what I call good writing.
Score: 5
Intangibles: Are the happenings in Fido a metaphor for the global war on terror and/or the
situation in Iraq? After all, the cities in Fido are all surrounded by protective fences, and
Zomcon repeatedly uses the phrase "protect the homeland". Or, are the happenings in
Fido a critique of capitalism? After all, it seems that most people in the film only hire and
exploit zombie servants in order to project an image of financial well-being to their
neighbors (the whole "keeping up with the Joneses" thing). Or, are the happenings in Fido
symbolic of the current illegal immigration "crisis" in the USA? After all, everyone in the film
must have a universal identification card, and zombies do all the grunt work that humans
refuse to do. I don't know--you'll have to answer these questions for yourself. All I'm saying
is that the fact that these elements exist within the film does, at times, help elevate it past
mere escapist zombie entertainment.
However, despite those considerations, the film suffers from a serious pacing problem. As
I mentioned earlier, Fido would probably have worked better as a short film, because after
about 45 minutes or so, the film seriously starts to drag, such that by the end, I didn't really
care what happened in the film, just that it ended. I think it goes without saying that that's
not a good thing.
Score: 2
Zombie Attack Scenes: As Fido is more about satire and comedy than it is full-on zombie
horror, there are, predictably, few zombie attack scenes in the film, and what attack scenes
there are, aside from the zombie assault upon Zomcon headquarters during the film's
climax, are kind of lame, this because rather than attacking worthy foes, the zombies only
take on an old lady, a fat dude, and some kids. The only thing worse than a zombie is a
wussy zombie, that's what I say.
Score: 2
Zombie "Orgy" Scenes: While there are no outright zombie "orgies" in Fido, there is a rare
"anti-zombie orgy orgy", when a bunch of people who have been zombified in a park are
slaughtered by Zomcon agents. An anti-zombie orgy orgy is almost as good as a regular
old zombie orgy, right? Um, no. It isn't.
Score: 2
horror, there are, predictably, few zombie attack scenes in the film, and what attack scenes
there are, aside from the zombie assault upon Zomcon headquarters during the film's
climax, are kind of lame, this because rather than attacking worthy foes, the zombies only
take on an old lady, a fat dude, and some kids. The only thing worse than a zombie is a
wussy zombie, that's what I say.
Score: 2
Zombie "Orgy" Scenes: While there are no outright zombie "orgies" in Fido, there is a rare
"anti-zombie orgy orgy", when a bunch of people who have been zombified in a park are
slaughtered by Zomcon agents. An anti-zombie orgy orgy is almost as good as a regular
old zombie orgy, right? Um, no. It isn't.
Score: 2
